Drugging Up Tonight
Granted, I don’t smoke marijuana, drop acid or shrooms, or sniff or smoke powder anymore, yet cigarettes and coffee are drugs too.
Near 7 PM, I started to drink some coffee, which I consider my drug of choice (as I paused to have a smoke, too!). For me, cigarettes and coffee are a hedonistic pleasure, though they’re also an addiction. The rush of caffeine and staying up to three or four AM isn’t a healthy choice, yet sometimes, I get a lot of creative work done.
I also scroll on TikTok and Facebook, and I feel the chemicals from that too. Seeking a dopamine fix from digital media feels like drugs, so if you’ve never done drugs and obsess on your phone, you may feel how drugs can be
About a week ago, I found myself saying, “it’s safer to love drugs than people.” The thought is that I know what to expect from them with drugs. I can predict how the caffeine and sleep deprivation will feel, and though it’s techy, I am familiar with that chemical fix; they are comfortably expected.
How and when do I shift from ruining myself with drugs, even if it’s legal ones? I’m fortunate to not be deep into alcohol, yet I found myself craving a drink earlier today too. What are these substance cravings? Are they covering over something else I’m aiming to avoid? What happens when I avoid the drugs and get deep into figuring out the source of my addiction?
I may work more on my book My Bag of Trips tonight. I can find out how and what issues caused current thoughts and feelings. It might be good work to go back to my drug days with a late-night to relive the feelings and experiences.
This post was created with Typeshare